Roller Coaster Ride

I tried very hard not to have many expectations going into camp.  Really because having expectations that aren’t met has been something that I’ve struggled with over the past few years.  Somewhere in Proverbs its says the hope deferred makes the heart sick and hoping for things that are part of my own vision of what “should” be often does that.  It has made me anxious and terrified and angry and lonely.  So one of my goals with camp was to avoid those expectations getting in the way of whatever camp reality looked like.

Boy am I glad I didn’t try to figure out what it would be like before I got here.  Already it has been one new, unexpected thing after another.  A new bed to learn to fall asleep in (New white noise and all), new people from different places and different points in life, new tasks (I finally know how to fold a sweatshirt!!!)  So much newness in every aspect of life and the kids haven’t even arrived yet.

It’s felt like a roller coaster ride for much of the ten days that I’ve been here.  There has been the thrilling joy of friendship and of being useful in work in a way that I haven’t been for a long time.  There has been the heart racing trips uphill wondering if I’m doing things the way they should be done, wondering if my mouth is open more than it should be, if I’m to open or not open enough.  Also there’s the spinning, upside down awesomeness of laughter and conversation and diving headfirst into the Word and service. 

Sometimes it’s hard to catch my breath.  Sometimes it’s tempting to feel like the work ahead is too big and beyond what I can do.  The truth is, it is beyond what I can do.  It is beyond what any of these amazing people that I’m growing to love can do.  However, it is not too big for my God to do.  He is strong enough to encourage us in our weariness, to be our strength when we have none, to work in the hearts and minds of all the young people that will cross the threshold of this camp.   The campers start to roll in tomorrow and I absolutely cannot wait to see how the Lord will work in them and in me too.  I don’t have expectations for what He will do because my expectations are never big enough, His thoughts are not my thoughts and His ways are not my ways.  My ways would never have brought me here and I need to be here. 

If you think of it pray for our campers, my fellow staff and for me too!!

Marvelous are His Works

Well it has been almost a full week here at Camp Otyokwah (Where friend meets friend J )  The week has often been like drinking from a fire hose.  Incredible amounts of training, learning all the ins and outs of camp life,  a room shared with 7 other girls I’ve never met before, more concentrated time in the Word than I’ve had in ages and diving Head first into community with strangers.  

There have been moments this week when I’ve felt completely overwhelmed and out of place, but those moments have been more and more fleeting.  Breathing in the fresh, pine filled air in a place where I’ve seen the Lord work before has helped me start to settle in here.  To dwell here. 

I have been amazed over and over again at how much the LORD had been working in me already.   I was so nervous about meeting everyone and He has made our common ground in Christ so clear to me.  I’ve already heard incredible testimonies of God’s work in the lives of my fellow staff members and I am so thankful that even though we have walked different paths to get here we have walked those roads with the same guide.  I’m still learning how I fit into this community, but there is a community being built, deeper than I expected. 

This week we’ve fellowshipped over meals (and Cheese-its!!), over the Word, over random song breaks, over games and Walmart runs, over paint scrapping and knot tying learning along the way to speak with the language of love.  I am not fluent yet, but I’m hoping to learn how to love these brothers and sisters better and be family to them in this far off land of Ohio. 

We have more training and planning at the beginning of next week , but come Thursday our first campers roll in.  First and Second graders J  I’m  excited to see what comes next in this adventure!  God has been etching the truth that His works are marvelous and that He will be faithful to complete all that He has begun in my life.  It amazing to think that the God who designed the incredible creation I’ve been enjoying so much this week, the towering trees, the rolling hills, the vast ocean of stars it’s that God who calls me His.  It’s that masterful artist who’s working in my heart, who is crafting me.   I don’t know all that’s ahead in this,  I don’t know all the reasons God has me here, but marvelous are His work (whatever they may be) and that my soul knows very well.