Look at this Photograph

In trying to pack up the apartment it has been difficult to know where to start when I still have to live here for another 2 and a half months.  I can’t pack pots and pans I’m still using.  It’s too early to box up dishes, silverware and all the other stuff that is useful in the day to day.  Up to this point I’ve packed up Christmas decorations, some books, and costumes.  All things I won’t need for the next few months and haven’t really noticed their absence.

Today I packed up some things that I don’t need, but already there’s a gap because they are in boxes.  When I first moved here the first thing I did to try and make this apartment feel like home was to hang pictures on the walls.  I also covered the refrigerator with pictures, notes, invitations and magnets and the front door was covered in Christmas cards.  Today the walls are almost bare, the front door is stark white with a few leftover pieces of scotch tape and the refrigerator door is as empty as the first day I walked in here.

I was surprised to catch myself tearing up a little as I pulled pictures from the wall and placed the safely in boxes.  Every photograph means something some make me laugh, some bring tears, some are full of memories from times that have long since passed.  Spending the last few years in this apartment on my own these pictures have been more important than I realized.  They have been reminders that while I may live alone I am not alone in this life.  Having visual reminders of friends and family covering the walls of this dwelling has been a blessing to me.  Being able to look anytime at smiling faces of people who love me has often been an anchor for me during times when I’ve felt lost and alone.

I am ready to say goodbye to this place and I think taking down the pictures that make this feel like home will help me do that.  There have been a lot of good times in this place, game nights with friends, holidays with family, guests in the spare room, prayer and praise nights,  warm cups of coffee shared.  Those are times I won’t soon forget.  Those are times that I will remember with thankfulness.  However there will be good times ahead.  While photographs are wonderful reminders of the people I love I am excited to be going back home.  I am excited to hang pictures on the walls of my room.  I may be giving up my own space leaving here, but I am gaining so much more.